Bloopers!!!  Spring 98

Ever wonder about the quality of attorneys taking depositions? I received this by e-mail from a friend and thought I would share it. Could these be true incidents?

• Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until morning?

• The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?

• Were you present when your picture was taken?

• Were you alone or by yourself?

• Was it you or your young brother who was killed in the war?

• Did he kill you?

• How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?

• You were there until the time you left, is that true?

• How many times have you committed suicide?

• Q. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8^th?
  A. Yes
  Q. And what were you doing at the time?

• Q. She had three children, right?
  A. Yes.
  Q. How many were boys?
  A. None.
  Q. Were there any girls?

• Q.You say the stairs went all the way down to the basement?
  A. Yes.
  Q. And those stairs, did they go up?

• Q.Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
  A. I went to Europe.
  Q. And you took your new wife?

• Q. How was your first marriage terminated?
  A. By death.
  Q. And by whose death was it terminated?

• Q. Can you describe the individual?
  A. He was about medium height and had a beard.
  Q. Was this a male or female?

• Q. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent your attorney?
  A. No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

• Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
  A. All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

• Q. All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
  A. Oral.

• Q. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
  A. The autopsy began about 8:30 p.m.
  Q. And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
  A. No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing the autopsy.

• Q. You were not shot in the fracas?
  A. No, I was shot half way between the fracas and the navel.

• Q. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

A. I have been ever since early childhood.

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